The Proverbial Third Wheel
by Phosphorescent
Summary: Sometimes Camille Saroyan feels a bit lonely. In which we view a typical meal at the diner: Sweets and Daisy flirt disgustingly, Hodgins and Angela are in denial, and Booth and Brennan… are Booth and Brennan. Set in early mid-Season 4.


_Disclaimer: I do not own or lay claim to anything even tenuously associated with Bones; it belongs to various individuals and corporations who are considerably more talented and well-off than myself. I am only playing with the aforesaid characters, situations, settings, etc. for my own amusement and am making no profit whatsoever from this (other than the bettering of my writing skills and my own amusement). No copyright or trademark infringement is intended._

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Camille Saroyan is a smart, beautiful woman (and knows it), but sometimes when she looks at her co-workers she feels a bit lonely. She doesn't notice so much during the work day; she's part of the team now, and everyone's busy. But when they all get together to go out for drinks or food, she can't help but feel like the proverbial third wheel at times. Between Seeley and Dr. Brennan being a non-couple, Dr. Sweets and Miss Wick being a couple of cavity-inducing sweetness, and Hodgins and Angela determinedly _not_ being a couple, she can't help but feel a bit out of place.

Take tonight for instance.

"Lancelot," Daisy Wick purrs, feeding him a bite of her chicken, "we should go see a movie after this."

Dr. Sweets swallows the chicken and nods.

"What are you in the mood for, Daisy?" he asks.

"You," she whispers.

Camille valiantly tries not to roll her eyes. She notices that Dr. Hodgins hasn't even tried to suppress his amused distaste.

Sweets gulps.

"I meant… for the movie," he says.

"Oh!" Daisy says faux-innocently. "A thriller, I suppose. Speaking of movies, did you hear that they're making another one of Dr. Brennan's books into a movie?"

Her tone gets excited, her face animated, and her words speed up as they always do when discussing her hero.

"No, I didn't know that," Sweets says contemplatively. "Hey, Dr. Brennan! Why didn't you mention that another one of your books is being made into a movie?"

Dr. Brennan doesn't even seem to hear the psychologist, so deeply absorbed in conversation with her F.B.I. partner is she.

"Dr. Brennan!" he repeats, louder.

This time, Cam is pretty sure that the doctor heard, but she's ignoring him.

"Dr. Brennan," Cam says with a sigh, "I think Dr. Sweets is trying to get your attention."

She'd let this scene play out longer, but she has a feeling that the diner's other patrons might not find it as amusing as she does.

"Yes, Dr. Sweets?" Brennan says.

"Daisy just told me that there's another Kathy and Andy movie coming out. Why didn't you mention this to me in therapy?"

"I didn't think that it had any bearing on my partnership with Booth or my work with the F.B.I.," she says matter-of-factly. "Those are the primary reasons why I am in counseling with you in the first place, and therefore our main topics of conversation."

Seeley smirks.

"I don't like feeling like I'm out of the loop, guys," Sweets says in mild frustration. "Major events in your lives should be discussed. Whether or not you realize it, they affect –"

"Blah blah blah," Seeley cuts in. "We get it, Sweets."

"This isn't a major life event," Brenan states. "It doesn't significantly alter my life in any fashion."

Sweets looks a bit skeptical.

"C'mon," he says. "You've got to be making some serious money on this. And you're going to be getting some serious publicity, too."

"The man's got a point," Hodgins chimes in. "The paparazzi is going to find you more fascinating than ever."

"I highly doubt that," Brennan says. "The actors and actresses are going to be bombarded by the press far more than myself."

Angela Montenegro frowns slightly.

"Not necessarily, sweetie," she puts in. "After all, the real life Kathy? Reporters eat that sort of thing up."

Hodgins nods in agreement. "For breakfast, along with a cup of misery."

"Kathy isn't based on me, though," Brennan says.

"Sure she isn't," Angela says half-skeptically, half-placatingly. "Just like none of your characters are based on people whom you know in real life."

"Exactly!" Brennan says.

Even Seeley rolls his eyes at this.

"Look, I'm just saying you should probably exercise a bit more caution," Angela continues. "You never know when some crazy fan or reporter will attack."

Seeley stiffens at her words; it's barely discernable, but Cam's known him for a long time.

"I'm always cautious," Brennan says.

Seeley snorts.

"What?" Brennan asks defensively.

"You," he tells her, "are the opposite of cautious."

"I am capable of taking care of myself, Booth," she says, drawing herself up to her full seated height. "I am trained in multiple forms of martial arts and am in near-peak physical condition."

"That may be true," Seeley says, glancing at her in brief appreciation, "but let's be frank: you don't pay attention to your surroundings. You charge ahead – with the best of intentions – into danger, unarmed and without backup."

"And whose fault is it that I'm unarmed?" she asks. "I'd carry a gun if you'd just sign off on my application."

"No," he says firmly. "You're a hazard with a weapon."

"I'm an excellent shot!" she protests.

This has the feel of an old argument.

"Agent Booth, what makes you think that Dr. Brennan is dangerous with a gun?" Dr. Sweets asks.

"Because the last time I gave her one, she shot me with it," he says. "Not that it's any of your business."

"Actually," Sweets begins.

"In the leg!" Brennan says, cutting him off. "And it was an accident. We were in the dark, and you were moving, and there were…" she trails off.

"I know," he says quietly. "But there will always be situations like that. And if you have trouble with them, then it's better that you don't have a weapon. Besides, I'm your gun, remember?"

The two exchange a glance. After a few seconds (that feel like far longer), their eyes break apart and the moment is over.

Brennan pouts. "I still want a gun," she says.

"Well, I wanted a pony when I was little," Angela says, interrupting their back-and-forth. "Never got one, though."

"What is the correlation between your childhood desire for a pony and my need for a gun?" Brennan asks in puzzlement.

"I think she's saying that we don't always get what we want," Hodgins says wryly.

"OK, back on topic," Sweets says. "This movie is going to center a lot of attention on you, Dr. Brennan."

Brennan shrugs. "As I said, it won't significantly alter my life."

"How do you feel about all of this, Agent Booth?" Sweets asks.

"I'm happy for Bones," Seeley says, smiling, but his voice is a bit tight.

"What do you think about the possible increased security threat to Dr. Brennan?" Sweets asks, continuing to push.

"We're not in therapy right now," Seeley says, spitting 'therapy' like it's a dirty word. "So let's cut the crap for the time being, OK? Let's just have a nice evening."

_Some_one's grouchy, Cam thinks with a smile.

"All right," Sweets concedes cautiously. "But we're discussing this on Monday!"

Seeley and Brennan turn back to one another, and resume their conversation.

Cam can hear Sweets mutter "There are _clearly_ some unresolved issues" to Daisy, who pats his shoulder.

"So what are you doing this weekend, Cam?" Angela asks.

"Michelle and I are going to the mall to get her some new spring clothes. Then I'm planning on sitting back and relaxing with a book or two," Cam replies, already visualizing the bliss of putting her feet up and enjoying an alcoholic beverage or two. "You?"

"Not sure yet," she says. "I'm thinking about trying to drag Bren out to that new club that opened downtown – The Cat's Meow? I hear they have pretty good music and _amazing_ jello shots."

She grins irrepressibly. "Plus, there are supposed to be some ve-ry hot guys."

"Nice," Cam says. "Give me a full report on Monday, so I know whether this place is worth checking out."

"Honey," Angela says, nodding, "these places are _always_ worth checking out."

"So, sorry to bust up girl talk, but we need to get going, Ange," Hodgins says.

"Where are you going?" Cam asks curiously.

"Oh, Hodgins needed some moral support at one of those banquets he has to attend," Angela explains. "So I volunteered to be his unofficial, entirely platonic date."

Hodgins nods.

"Come along, 'unofficial, entirely platonic date'," he says, grinning. "The evening – and the vultures – await."

"See you, Cam," she says wryly. "Have a great weekend!"

"The two of you have fun," Cam returns.

"Hovering human vultures, inedible food, a beautiful woman at my side… what's not to like?" Hodgins says, escorting Angela out of the bar.

They stop by Dr. Brennan and Seeley on the way out to say their farewells. Shortly thereafter, Brennan and Seeley leave as well. Apparently Dr. Sweets and Daisy left at some point during an earlier conversation – presumably their hormones couldn't wait any longer.

So, once again, Cam sits at the bar alone.

She's not bitter, exactly… she just wishes that she had someone to share the evening with the way the rest of them do.

She shrugs, pays her tab, grabs her coat, and heads to the car.

And when she gets home, and Michelle greets her, she remembers that she _does_ have someone to spend the evening with. And maybe she doesn't have a romantic interest, but she does have a daughter… and that's more than enough.


End file.
